Kids and talking - updated

I'm a rather quiet person but have made it a point to talk to and with my son as often as possible; sometimes to the point of sounding silly to myself. But I know this is good for him as he learns how to communicate, speak and identify the world around him.

I came across an article titled Children reaching age 3 without being able to say a word, survey finds with concern. After reading it I found a disturbing sentence within it:

The survey of more than 1,000 parents found that a child’s background was not a factor in how quickly they learnt to talk. Working parents who put their babies in day care are just as likely to have a child whose speech develops late
as those who leave their baby in front of the television.

LOL. Those are the only two choices? Really? All this time as a housewife and mom I have been interacting with Rooster by talking with him, playing games, reading, rough-housing, following him around the house as he does laps, etc. and I could have instead just plopped him down in front of the TV.

Those silly Brits.

Update: A fellow Dr. Laura reader/listener notices the same.

original post 01/03/10 at 7:40 pm

Those lying eyes

Interesting.

I have to think that perhaps kids are better liars because often they do not know what they are doing is wrong or incorrect. An adult has (or should have) the reasoning and maturity to know that when they are lying they are acting incorrectly. They will give off visual or verbal signals from this incongruity (eye shifting, pitch changes, etc.). A child fails to give off these signals because there is no disparity in what they are saying and thinking.

These are teaching moments for parents. I agree with the article on how to minimise lying:

• Set a good example. Every time you duck out of a boring social event with a fake headache, your child takes notes.
  
• Stay calm. Accusing in a loud, threatening manner is not the way to get the truth out of a child. ‘Usually children do not lie when it is safe to tell the truth,’ advises Parent24 parenting expert Anne Cawood.
  
• Explain the consequences of lying in a calm, rational way, and offer the child the opportunity to tell the whole truth. Don’t start screaming and shouting again the minute he admits to having done the deed.
  
• Avoid labelling your child a liar. Labels can become self-fulfilling prophesies. Give positive reinforcement to the truth. ‘I am glad you were honest. Now please clean up the mess.’
  

I look to the first as the most important. I realize even now how much Rooster mimics me and his father. Our example has to fall in line with how we want him to behave.

Obviously we are not having issues with Rooster - he's only 1. But we do have this to look forward to and we need a plan of action as to how we will approach lying. Not tolerating it is one thing - teaching our child why it's wrong is another.

Kissing my baby's face off

Oh, how I love to do it to Rooster! Hmm, I wonder if I have ever annoyed anyone with my displays of affection to my baby?

Co-sleeping has worked for us

It was never the plan to have him in our room this long (when was the last time everything went right according to plan). We thought 3 months and he would be in his crib in his room. Ha. Well, 3 months rolled around and he had outgrown his co-sleeper, so we moved him into the crib...still in our room. A month and a half later (and many fitful nights) we decided to remove the crib and just have the crib mattress on the floor...still in our room. Then we purchased a twin mattress to replace the crib one...still in our room. We just keep putting it off because we love having him there - and I'm sure he loves us being right there too.

A couple things have changed recently. One is that Rooster is now mobile. He has yet to crawl off the mattress in the middle of the night - his routine is to yelp out, sometimes softly, sometimes quite loudly (I've bolted to a sitting position out of surprise!). But he eventually will and the safest place would be his own room where we can't step on him en route to the bathroom. Another thing is us waking each other up. This was also the reason we avoided bed-sharing - it doesn't work because we both frequently awaken. Currently it doesn't happen all the time, but it does occur and would be greatly decreased in separate rooms. And finally, we are all ready for our own rooms. We like to think 9 months in, 9 months out in terms of where Rooster is in development and (in)dependence from us. He will be 9 months in a few weeks (WOW!) and it is time he slept alone.

We want to ease him in so he will begin to take his naps in his new room using the crib mattress. I'm sure this whole process won't go as smooth as we could hope, but nonetheless we want to start it. It's kinda sad for me and Roscoe. We are so used to having Rooster right there as we sleep, so when Rooster moves to his own bedroom in several weeks, he will be missed.

...and he's off!

Check mark another milestone - Rooster is crawling! Yay!

I thought that all of these steps of independence would be a little sad - he's moving away from me and into his own little person after all. But I haven't found anything but joy! Here I am with my husband continuing the creation of a life. WOW.

This and that

They always say that time flies by once you become a parent. They are right.

Rooster is going to be 8 months old in a week. Wasn't I just pregnant? I can still feel my belly and his little foot jabbing out every now and then.

Today his 3rd tooth came through. It has been bothering him for several days while it was just below the surface. He was soothed only by cuddles of which we have an endless supply.

His personality is starting to emerge more and more every day. We are in trouble - he's adventuresome and rambunctious. He's a boy.

I need to slow down, enjoy this stage while he's in it. It's a good stage - everything is new, everything is exciting and he's not quite mobile.

Ready, Set, Sleep!

When do you wake a sleeping baby? Ideally, never, but in the real world it is bound to happen out of scheduling necessity or accident (or nutrition if they are newborn).

This week we are doing a mommy and baby swim class that begins at 10:05. Monday and Tuesday our schedule was perfect. Rooster woke from an hour nap at 0915, we pottied, nursed, and arrived several minutes ahead of time. Yesterday was different. He did not want to fall asleep with rocking and nursing for our usual routine (possibly distracted by the dishwasher - note to self, do not run until after morning nap!), so we headed outside for a walk in the stroller. 20 minutes later, at 0845, he fell asleep. I tried to rouse Rooster after a 30 minute nap but he would not awaken. This is not the first time I've tried to wake him up because we have needed to go somewhere, but this is the first time I was not able to gently do so by calling his name. Really?!

So what does a mama do in this situation? I could have been more forceful with my technique, louder voice, picking him up, etc. Quickly I weighed the con and pro: missing a class that is already paid for or letting the little man sleep? Hmmm...2 seconds later I was walking away hoping he would stay asleep a long time. And he did. He awoke from his nap at 10:15.

Sure we missed a day of class (which I was really, really looking forward to because he enjoyed himself so much on Tuesday) but two good things came out if it: a long nap for a tired little boy and another lesson to mama about babies and schedules - follow his cues and go with the flow.

Breastfeeding, fathers, and the benefits to mothers

My husband follows this blog because he is a type 1 diabetic. I will write about that soon but for now I will stick with her post.

I love that there is more research being done about the benefits of breastfeeding to both mom and baby. Yes, I see it as superior to formula in every way. Yes, I know there are some reasons why a woman cannot breastfeed and formula is a miracle in these cases. That doesn't change the facts.

I do disagree with this though:

OK Gentlemen, you are excused for today. No hard feelings.

The role a husband plays in breastfeeding is crucial. The more informed men are about breastfeeding and all of it's wonderful benefits and rewards the better it will be for the mom and baby. Roscoe has been so supportive of my breastfeeding relationship with Rooster. He is quite knowledgeable of why I wanted to do it so he has always been there cheering us on. At times I did get very frustrated, and with the emotions and hormones present in my system, it was very refreshing to have his unadulterated encouragement. I'm afraid there are moms out there who do not have supportive husbands that either never try to breastfeed or cut the relationship way short (I've heard sad stories of such at LLL meetings I attend). Support comes in positive words, encouragement, offering assistance, bringing her water/food/anything she needs, etc. With Roscoe's support our breastfeeding relationship has been successful.

Update: more research